Party faux pas crossword11/10/2023 ![]() ![]() ![]() Instead of actually listening to what a kid has to say and asking a relevant follow-up question, they jump in with a long story about themselves - or, worse, offer up a weird non sequitur. The next step in a good conversation with a kid? Pay attention. “You’ll feel more relaxed then and can focus on connecting through that.” Ask good follow-up questions “The great thing about asking questions is to find out what you have in common,” says Ben. It could be a shared interest, such as the card game Codenames, or a low-stakes disagreement, like whether dipping french fries in a milkshake is delicious or gross. That first conversational volley is all about finding a point of connection. “A more interesting question will elicit a response more than ‘fine.’” “Instead of ‘How’s school?’, you could ask, ‘If you were principal for the day, what’s one thing you’d absolutely change?’” suggests Silverman. Don’t despair: You can just tweak the format of a question to improve it. If a kid is wearing a baseball cap, asking whether they like baseball is not a good question - just like if you were wearing a baseball cap, that question wouldn’t encourage you to keep talking. “Adults reach for whatever they can, and ask a yes or no question,” says Robyn Silverman, host of the podcast How to Talk to Kids About Anything. If you like video games, ask what games they like to play if you’re a big reader, ask about their favorite recent book. “You want to get to know them.” Ben recommends starting with a question about something that you enjoy. Or they can be general: Did you see a funny animal video recently? “You just want to get the kid talking,” says Ben R., an 11-year-old who lives in Highland Ranch, Colorado. If you’re at a barbecue, ask them what their favorite condiment is. Icebreakers with a kid can be situational. But once you offer up an open-ended topic, a kid will often run with it. Much like in an initial conversation with an adult stranger, it can be hard to know where to begin. If you’re curious, warm, and earnest, you can make a new friend - and leave your awkward adult persona behind. Instead, it’s all about approaching them as people: individuals who have their own interests, insights, and personalities. “It’s hard sometimes to relate to kids because the rhythm of our days is so different.” Our brains and habits have changed, and as adults, it can be tough to remember what it’s like to be a 10-year-old.īut that’s the key: Talking to and connecting with 10-year-olds now doesn’t require remembering what you were like at 10. Why are adults so bad at talking to kids, considering each and every one of us used to be one? “We forget what it’s like to be a child,” says Tina Payne Bryson, a psychotherapist and co-author of The Whole-Brain Child. You introduce yourselves, there’s a slight pause, and then, even though you know better, you hear the boring question coming out of your mouth: “So how’s school?” You’re at a birthday party or a family dinner or a picnic in the park, and suddenly, you find yourself face to face with a kid. Somehow, despite our best efforts, it still happens to even the most self-assured adult. ![]()
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